What is Love?
Updated: Feb 7
What is Love?
"Love is the total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love", said the Master.
(Anthony de Mello)
My Tribute to the Late Lata Mangeskhar; mother of magical music.
Thank you for your pure heart-warming voice.
We often hear the word ‘Love’ and immediately think of two human beings who feel a romantic or sexual attraction, a physical interest, that becomes a relationship for the short or long-term. We might speak of the love between parent and child. We might consider the love for a pet, or certain family members such as grandparents, or grandchildren, and many others. We could talk about the love we have for doing certain treasured activities or eating certain foods or wearing certain outfits, or even travelling to places we love.
It took me a long time to explore with this thing we call ‘Love’, searching for it in many variations of relationships, activities, and interests that related to the Physical life. The relationships were all about ‘me’ or all about ‘you'.
Through the process of experimentation and asking research questions of myself, I found a way towards true love that feels good, true and beautiful (even when it appears to be ugly and uncomfortable at times).
Looking back, I see that I hadn't even noticed him as someone I could relate to. Then for reasons then unknown, I began to despise him! Then I feared him! Then I began to wonder about him...
And now I love him. :)
What on Earth had happened?
It was whilst alive on Earth, that a kind of Love that arises between the Physical and Spiritual, found me. It's a Love that invites an authentic, altruistic and compassionate relationship to all forms of life and choice regardless of ones demographic category or chosen identity.
This love came in gently, first through Bollywood songs, and then in poems and verses, and then grew louder in my perceptions of my Transpersonal Arts processes, that helped to refine my Thinking, Feeling, and Will.
My favourite Bollywood song for along time was “Kabhi Kabhi Mere Dil Mein, Khayal Aata Hai”. Today, it reflects the love I discovered of union of opposites, that is awakening ever strongly in many people now.
“Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hain
Ke jaise tujhko banaaya gaya hain mere liye
Tu abse pehle sitaaron mein bas rahi thi kahin
Tujhe zameen pe bulaaya gaya hain mere liye” which means…
Sometimes, in my heart a feeling emerges
That it's like you have been created just for me.
Before, you dwelled among the stars somewhere
And now, you have been called down to the earth just for me
In 2020 just as I was graduating from the Tobias School of Art & Therapy, I realised what the words were pointing to. Their words spoke of Love and the pain of longing and parting. Sometimes, the song lines would touch my heart and tears would flow. Sometimes, guilt and shame would arise amongst the fear, anger and confusion. Still I could not understand why I was replaying Bollywood songs in my mind. I reasoned that I was a Bollywood dancer and a singer for twenty years or so, and that perhaps my mind was simply emptying itself of old content. As I sat with the feelings in all their technicolour pain, my excessively intellectual side made some space for my intuitive side to speak to me through dream pictures and artwork.
Over the last few years, through my work with children as a Transpersonal Arts Counsellor, I have begun to place myself in the position of listener to the words and movements, as well as trying out the position of the singers message. Sometimes, I would place myself in the characters roles; the male and the female lovers, and new inspirations would arise helping me to make sense of my life challenges and struggles in search of Love. It has always been difficult for me to accept kindness, goodness, and feelings of love, because of what I had met in my early biography.
Often we are faced with conditioned ideas of love, happiness, joy, and health, whether through TV, social media and movie channels presenting temporary measures for feel-good things, or through education, healthcare, familial, religious and political ideals. Thanks to the use of Anthroposophical therapies, remedies and tools, I began to realise the I had been longing for a sustainable feeling of Love that felt safe and unconditional. It’s what many of us are searching for throughout all human lives.
I found love through a striving to want to know why I met what I met in my life story, and through this striving to heal the Personal, a Transpersonal love found me; inside and around.
Today, the dear woman whose singing voice supported my growth from little Indian girl to a woman, passed on. Her name was Lata Mangeshkar and she was a highly respected Bollywood singer based in India and adored internationally. People called her the "nightingale of Bollywood" for her role as a playback singer, recording the songs that actors would lip-sync on screen. Her extraordinary career spanned more than half a century and she recorded thousands of songs in 36 languages. Generations of people found expression of their innermost emotions through her voice. The news of her passing was heart-breaking for me, as it is for millions the world over.
Today I grieve not only for the loss of Lata's talent to the musical world, but for the beloved one who sang me songs through my densest crises years, in my night dreams and in my daydreams often whilst simply travelling around London.
In grieving losses, I rediscovered the Beloved becoming stronger within and around me, in all relationships beyond human intersections of nationalities, cultures, religions, genders, ages, and groups.
The wonder and fear were one and the same; one an inhale and one an exhale - both vital for Life to flower.
As I played her songs back to back all day, I felt deeply saddened to remember that I too used to sing for people (before my voice and breathing broke down somehow). I would sing Lata’s songs for finely dressed couples getting married. I would sing songs to people eating Indian dinner in restaurants. I would sing at corporate events after the speeches and awards.
I stopped singing when it felt too painful to sing through electronic devices. The distortion felt unnatural to my whole being so I quit the group.
I wait until a time when I will sing freely again, maybe with others who sing from the natural depths of their heart.
Now when I meet my Art Therapy clients, I am able to recognise the Beloved strengthening me to hold them in my heart, and I can see the Beloved’s presence within them as they let go, transform, realise, explore, feel, question, and listen to their art-making and perceptions.
As I trust the love as authenticity, courage, and hope, my clients feel naturally able to meet their therapeutic work feeling supported and accepted for their journey towards the recognition of Love within and around them; (even when something hurts or stings or breaks apart for awhile). It is a love that is simultaneously bridging divisions and empowering individuality, which feels wholesome, relevant, and necessary for our time, where the music between us feeds our souls.
To become steadily more conscious of the workings of this love in our lives unfolding, is what I see as the task of our time.
To truly know the difference between lust and love and choose Love is open to everyone if we muster the courage to ask deeper questions and listen artistically; intuitively.
These words reflect my feeling of Love through struggle and suffering of all kinds.
(The song is sung by the late Lata Mangeshkar, with Mukesh. The lyrics were written by Santosh Anand while the soundtrack music was given by Laxmikant and Pyarelal).
“Ek pyar ka nagma hai, maujon ki rawani hai
It’s a song of love, it’s a flow of ecstasy
Ek pyar ka nagma hai, maujon ki rawani hai
It’s a song of love, it’s a flow of ecstasy
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi teri meri kahani hai
Life is nothing but a story about you and me
Ek pyar ka nagma hai, maujon ki rawani hai
It’s a song of love, it’s a flow of ecstasy
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi teri meri kahani hai
Life is nothing but a story about you and me
Ek pyar ka nagma hai
It’s a song of love.
Kuch paakar khona hai, kuch khokar paana hai We have to attain something and lose something Jeevan ka matlab toh aana aur jaana hai The meaning of life is coming and going Do pal ke jeevan se ek umar churani hai We have to steal a lifetime from this short life Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi teri meri kahani hai Life is nothing but a story about you and me Ek pyar ka nagma hai It’s a song of love
Tu dhaar hai nadiya ki, main tera kinara hoon
You’re the current of a river and I’m your shore
Tu mera sahara hai, main tera sahara hoon
You’re my support and I’m your support
Aankhon mein samandar hai, ashaon ka paani hai
In my eyes there’s an ocean with waters of desires
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi teri meri kahani hai
Life is nothing but a story about you and me
Ek pyar ka nagma hai
It’s a song of love
Toofan ko aana hai, aakar chale jaana hai
The storm has to come and leave as well
Baadal hai yeh kuch pal ka, chhakar dhal jaana hai
The clouds will thunder for a few moments and then pass
Parchaiyan reh jaati, reh jaati nishani hai
Shadows remain, marks remain
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi teri meri kahani hai
Life is nothing but a story about you and me
Ek pyar ka nagma hai, maujon ki rawani hai
It’s a song of love, it’s a flow of ecstasy
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi teri meri kahani hai
Life is nothing but a story about you and me
Ek pyar ka nagma hai
It’s a song of love”.
Question: What do you experience as true Love that feels globally uniting as well as respectful of your individual freedom?
Tune o rangeele kaisa jaadu kiya
O colourful one, what magic have you done
Tune o rangeele kaisa jaadu kiya
O colourful one, what magic have you done
Piya piya bole matwala jiya
My crazy heart is calling out for my beloved
Tune o rangeele kaisa jaadu kiya
O colourful one, what magic have you done
Piya piya bole matwala jiya
My crazy heart is calling out for my beloved
Baahon mein chupake yeh kya kiya, o re piya o
O beloved, what have you done by hiding me in your arms
Tune o rangeele kaisa jaadu kiya
O colourful one, what magic have you done
Piya piya bole matwala jiya
My crazy heart is calling out for my beloved
Paas bulake gale se lagake tune toh badal dali duniya
You've changed my world by calling me near you and embracing me
Naye hai nazare naye hai ishare rahi na woh kal wali duniya
The sceneries and signs are new, it's not yesterday's world
Paas bulake gale se lagake tune toh badal dali duniya
You've changed my world by calling me near you and embracing me
Naye hai nazare naye hai ishare rahi na woh kal wali duniya
The sceneries and signs are new, it's not yesterday's world
Sapne dikhake yeh kya kiya, o re piya o
O beloved, what have you done by showing me dreams
Tune o rangeele kaisa jaadu kiya
O colourful one, what magic have you done
Piya piya bole matwala jiya
My crazy heart is calling out for my beloved
O mere sajan kaisi yeh dhadkan shor machane lagi mann mein
What are these heartbeats that create a lot of noise in my heart
Jaise leharaye nadiya ka pani lehar uthe re mere tann mein
A wave is flowing in my body just like it flows in the river
O mere sajan kaisi yeh dhadkan shor machane lagi mann mein
What are these heartbeats that create a lot of noise in my heart
Jaise leharaye nadiya ka pani lehar uthe re mere tann mein
A wave is flowing in my body just like it flows in the river
Mujh mein samake yeh kya kiya, o re piya o
O beloved, what have you done by settling in me
Tune o rangeele kaisa jaadu kiya
O colourful one, what magic have you done
Piya piya bole matwala jiya
My crazy heart is calling out for my beloved
Baahon mein chupake yeh kya kiya, o re piya o
O beloved, what have you done by hiding me in your arms
Tune o rangeele kaisa jaadu kiya
O colourful one, what magic have you done
Piya piya bole matwala jiya
My crazy heart is calling out for my beloved
I felt inspired to write this tribute article to say goodbye.
Lataji never married and I sense that her love was for the divine.
Blessings to you beauty, mother, sister, teacher, role model since childhood, for my mum and for me. 💫 Blessings also to the Beauty of the Eternal Divine Feminine we are now reuniting through the timeless hearts soul-spirit self.
Love.
Nisha
